Anyone who's been fortunate enough to carry a child in her womb will understand what I'm about to say. If you've not, just imagine with me for a moment.
You know the old saying, "...before you were a twinkle in your father's eye?" Basically, it means that children are usually hoped for long before they are conceived. We dream about being parents, about what our child will look like. At some point we decide it's go time, time to start trying to make that twinkle a reality. We're never "ready," but we're ready enough. Then the fun part: conception. After that, it takes many months for that former twinkle to grow into a fully-functioning tiny human, and those months are more emotionally and physically taxing than we ever could have known. By the time the baby's due date approaches, we moms feel like caged animals, but instead of identifying with the animals, we are the cages, and instead of screaming, "Let me out," we are screaming, "Get this baby OUT!"
That last part, the screaming, ready-to-not-be-pregnant-anymore part? That's how I feel right now, but instead of birthing a child, I'm birthing a dream.
A book, to be exact.
For a several years, #FeelFreeToLaugh was but a twinkle in my eye. A dream. A "What if I...?" I'd often find my mind wandering, imagining what it might be like if I could spend my days writing for women and moms, offering them the same way to true Encouragement, Hope, and Freedom that God has extended to me.
Then came conception. It was my "I'm-as-ready-as-I'll-ever-be" moment. It was an exchange between the Lord and me, and it was the moment I said ,"YES." I'm still not quite sure what I said yes TO, but I said yes. When He calls and where He leads, I will obey and follow.
Next, the pregnancy. Ugh. I hate being pregnant, both with a manuscript AND with children. Both made me want to throw up, and often. Pregnancy is so taxing, and you find yourself inching closer to that impending due date, unsure of what it will be like. That said, #FeelFreeToLaugh took me 18 months to write, and I wouldn't trade any of that time for anything. It's been as much about God growing me as it has been about the book.
There were times I grew weary, and I just wished I wasn't pregnant anymore. There were times I was terrified of what would happen to my life after the birth, and I wanted to stay pregnant a little while longer. There were times I worried about something going "wrong," about my book dying upon delivery, never to be held in the hands of the women I imagined might read it.
The enemy is out to kill the dreams God gives his children from the moment those dreams are conceived.
The enemy can go to hell.
It's now almost go time for me, for #FeelFreeToLaugh. God keeps graciously reminding me that it's not about how many books I sell, or how people receive the words I've written. It's about me and Him. It's about His vision becoming my heartbeat, and it's about my "YES." It's about our journey together, and it's about my trusting Him. It's about me offering Him the blank check that is my life and saying, "You fill it in, God. My life is yours."
I'm so stoked, because the adventure with Him is so worth it.
Keep your eyes and ears open for the official release date for #FeelFreeToLaugh. I should have that for you next week, and I'll be posting on social media and sending out an email to my blog subscribers with the details (by the way, have you subscribed to FeelFreeToLaugh.com yet?!).
Also, for those of you who live in the Atlanta area, I have WAY exciting news. The infamous East Lake Chick-fil-A in Marietta has agreed to allow me to hold my book launch/signing there in a few weeks. A friend suggested this, and it made me literally LOL. I'll be at the book table, located near the toilets, obvi. Look out for more info to come on this event, as well.
I hope you're excited; I know I am. I hope you'll buy a copy of #FeelFreeToLaugh for you, and several for your friends who need a good laugh and a healthy dose of encouragement and truth from God's Word.
In the meantime, you'll find me trying to work off my baby weight. I thought I couldn't call it that anymore, since my human "baby" is five, but I now realize that since I've been pregnant with a dream, it's still acceptable.